FAQ (3)

Wednesday, 18 February 2015 19:02


Written by
Published in FAQ
Friday, 09 January 2015 00:00

Gran Canaria Info Style Guide

Written by

90% of travel writing is SEO-optimised, cliche-riddled drivel. Or at least it feels that way when you live in Gran Canaria.

When did travel writers stop writing about their experiences and become review monkeys? When did mediocrity become the bar? When did they just give up?

Don't do this

We've had enough of grinding our teeth every time the Google Alert hits our inbox so we've put together this guide for travel writers heading this way.

The essential clichés

All articles must have one of the following in the first paragraph:

  • A pun on the island's roundness
  • Saying it's like Spain but different
  • Mentioning the other, real, Gran Canaria
  • Revealing that it's an island of contrasts
  • Mentioning the tourist bight, sprawl, plague, etc

You're an explorer

Explorers discover things during adventures. Then they write about them. In the third person. The only way is epic.

  • Discover a secret beach
  • Explore a hidden valley
  • Scale an unknown peak

Had a boring Gran Canaria week short on epic events?

Just cram the entire island into 600 words. Capture its essence as nobody has before.

You know you can do it.

Location, location, whatever

Book a package because it's cheap, stay in a resort because its convenient, do your exploring in a Jeep Safari with a foreign guide.

There's no need for more. It's only a little island and you can see it all from the road.

In fact, why come at all?

Google is your friend.

Unique and amazing vocabulary

Go heavy on the word unique but never provide context: It needs no explanation.

Don't forget the other essentials:

  • Fascinating
  • Gorgeous
  • Wonderful
  • Incredible
  • Amazing
  • Picture-postcard-perfect

All other describing words are redundant.

Use the words traditional and sustainable. It doesn’t matter where: Just get them in.

The word literally can literally be used anywhere.

Words that you don't use in everyday conversation make you sound clever. Like a writer.

  • You partake in food
  • Have classes imparted to you
  • Finds things that are situated in locations

Alliterate alot always

Cuddly, fluffy and mild

English is too short: Puff it out with wills, woulds, shoulds, coulds, cans, be able tos, etc.

The active voice is nasty. It scares people. Passive and cuddly is best.

Never check facts and always hedge in case somebody disagrees.

  • Gran Canaria could be the roundest island in the world
  • It's said that Gran Canaria has the tastiest bananas.
  • I've been told that 80% of ...

It's better to be vague than risk negative comments. Google doesn't like negative comments.

Mince the metaphor, crunch the cliché

In the lively resorts, hotels must perch, pools shimmer, you hit the sun-drenched beaches along with hordes of tourists, cash is splashed, the Yumbo is nudge, nudge, wink,wink (insert funny joke).

Off the beaten track the mountains float in the air, remote villages nestle quaintly, views are panoramic and breathtaking, markets and fiestas are colourful and vibrant and full of friendly locals.

Fataga is picturesque.

Food is always succulent, mouth-watering and delectable. You partake of it in hidden gems that you stumble across..

Locals, what locals?

There are no local people in Gran Canaria except friendly ones dressed up in traditional costume dancing charmingly at authentic local fiestas. Or charismatic ones manning hidden gems. If you must mention a local in any other context, make sure it's a resort barman with a dodgy accent.

Engage with the audience

Once your article is published your work has just started:

  • Beg ceaselessly for likes on social media
  • Post links repeatedly, frequently
  • Join a web ring, blog ring, book club or any other circle of mediocrity

A retweet is a read. A review is a book deal.

You're almost there.

Bonus bleeding edge tip: Change the title of your old stuff and repost it as new. Do this often and without warning.

Got an original, quality piece of writing about Gran Canaria? Sure? Let us know and we'll publish it on Gran Canaria Info with a link back to your personal website. 

Published in FAQ
Friday, 09 January 2015 00:00


Written by


Who are you?

We're Lex Thoonen and Alex Bramwell and we've run this website about Gran Canaria since 1998. We've both lived on the island for years and spend as much time as possible roaming about finding new things to see and do here.

Can I use your photos on my website?

Please feel free to use them on your personal website and social media pages, but please don't crop out the watermark. If you want to use our images professionally please visit our easy to use picture website PhotosGranCanaria

I hate you and your opinions about Gran Canaria

We love Gran Canaria and try to be as positive and useful as possible for our audience. If you disagree with us about something please let us know. If we're wrong we'll change it and if we're not we'll explain why. Otherwise, just ignore us.


My Gran Canaria business isn't featured on the website. How can I change that?

Contact us by email and we'll be in touch. We feature new attractions and businesses every week.

How do I advertise my business on Gran Canaria Info?

We offer a range of advertising options. Please contact us via email and we'l get back to you ASAP. 

Can I publish an article or blog post on your website?

Yes, if it's good quality, unpublished, original and mostly about Gran Canaria. No if it's a badly written mass of cliches, old content, or a plug for your business. Please read our style guide and then email us. 


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